how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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