how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
