it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
