it wasn't lemon gatorade
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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