hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
