so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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