Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He passed out mid-signature
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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