So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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