so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize