Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
