She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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