Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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