i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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