BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
