I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
