I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize