In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
