I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
