so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
