FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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