Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
