i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
