is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
