he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
