we're blogging at a bar
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
