Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
