Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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