what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize