I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He did a backflip because drugs
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
