The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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