we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
