I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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