im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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