Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
