she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize