Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Less talking, more tequila
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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