i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
