This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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