it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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