y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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