She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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