Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
