for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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