Can Purell be used as lube?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
