So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
