No awkward lesbian experiences without me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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