puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Alive.
So much puke
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
