it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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