he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
