I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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