Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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