Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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