he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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