I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
