Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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