I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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