Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
