I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
