So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
