hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
