It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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