Sry I called you an 8
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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