I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
